Agnieszka almost told him last night. He stopped her. "Not today," Charlie said. He was acting kind of weird and said he didn’t feel too well. She thought about this for a while and decided that he probably wanted to hear it at a more appropriate time than when he was dropping her off at her apartment. I don’t blame him, she thought, but it sure would have been easier on me. Say it and have a quick escape, that’s how she imagined it. But Charlie was taking her to a play tomorrow. He wants to hear it then, she realized. Agnieszka shivered a bit at the thought of telling him and having no place to hide afterwards.

She actually felt relieved when he stopped her. She probably wouldn’t have been able to get it out anyway. Now it was just a matter of time before he came to pick her up and they would go see the play. And then she’d have to tell him. Or not. She still wondered whether she should. She might be being too hasty. After all, they had been going out for only about five months. How can you tell someone something like that in so short a time? He had told her after only two months, on her birthday even, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond back, no matter how wonderful the evening or their time together had been. At one time, she offered that she might tell him in Polish, but he told her that was cheating. Maybe it was, but it would have been an easier first step; what with her saying it in her native language and him not understanding what was just said. That way she could sneak it past him and not have to come right out and face how she felt.

Agnieszka looked at the time—6:31. Charlie was supposed to be there at 6:30, but was always a little late. She went to the bathroom to spray her hair and fix her dress. It was a tight, black one and she hoped he would like it.

As she was finishing, the doorbell rang. Agnieszka never liked answering the door herself, because she didn’t want to appear too anxious. The bell rang again and she listened to her mother walk from the kitchen to answer it. She heard her mother say, "Hi Charlie," in her thick accent, and the door close. She put a few finishing touches on her makeup and checked her hair again. Well, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, she thought. She opened the bathroom door and went in her room; he was sitting on the bed.

"Hey," he said, getting up, "you look great!"

"Thank you," she said, curtsying. She liked teasing him like that. Then she saw how he looked. "Wow, you look really good." And he did. This was the first time she had seen him in dress clothes, as he was usually wearing shorts, or, when at work with her, his McDonald’s uniform. She was glad that he looked nice all dressed up, if only for future reference.

"Thanks," he said, looking somewhat embarrassed. He moved to kiss her, but she backed off.

"What?" he questioned.

"My lipstick!"

"Oh, I don’t mind." He gently kissed her on the lips.

She took her hand and wiped his lips off. Charlie held her.

"Are you ready?" he said softly.

"Yeah, almost, let me just get my shoes." Agnieszka was waiting for this part. She was only about two inches shorter than Charlie was and they always talked about what would happen when she put heels on. He said he wouldn’t mind, but she wanted to see for herself.

Agnieszka went to her closet and slipped the black, heeled shoes on. "What do you think of these?"

"Mm, very nice."

She went and stood in front of him. "I’m as tall as you now."

"Yeah, don’t rub it in," he said, smirking. He then straightened up, which pushed his chest out and made him a little bigger than her.

"Cut that out!" she scolded. "You don’t mind, right?"

"Of course not, don’t be silly." He smiled, "We better get going. I don’t know where it is, you know."

"You didn’t find out where it was from your parents?"

"No, they didn’t know where it was either. We’ll just have to use the directions that I got from the ticket place."

"I’ll get the map," she said, taking a long breath.

Good thing we’re leaving early, she thought. He never really knew where anything was, but didn’t use maps, saying it wasn’t possible to get lost in your own state. This of course meant that she was the one who had to look at the map and tell him where to go.

As they were making their way out and saying good-bye to her mom (who gave her last minute instructions in Polish so Charlie wouldn’t understand), she noticed him walking a little more erect than usual. She smiled. At least my heels improved his posture, she thought.

When she was approaching his car and getting to the door, Charlie jumped in front of her to open it. As Agnieszka was getting in, she noticed that the car shined-he had just cleaned it. He’s thought of everything, she thought, as she saw the inside was vacuumed and polished too. If there was one thing he hated, it was cleaning his car, so she realized that he must really be trying to impress her tonight.

The trip itself was uneventful, as they basically talked and worried about the directions. At least Charlie worried, but Agnieszka was used to it by now.

"Don’t forget, tell me where to turn, because I really don’t know where to exit."

"I know, I will. Let me see...O.K., turn right after the second light."

"Is this the first light coming up?"

"Yes, turn right after the next one."

"Turn right at it or after it?"

"There’s only one way to turn—right after it. Just stay in the right lane."

"Right. Tell me when though."

And it went on like this for most of the two hour trip.

As they approached the entrance to the University, Agnieszka noticed the old ivy covered buildings on the campus. It was certainly nicer looking than hers and much nicer than Charlie’s school, which she never cared for much in the first place. There were already people heading in and it was now just a matter of finding a parking spot and then following the crowd. Charlie found one near a light and they got out.

It was slightly crowded outside the theater, but Charlie pushed his way through, with Agnieszka’s hand held firmly in his. She noticed that he headed straight for the pre-purchased ticket area.

"Watch this," he said.

Charlie approached the ticket window and told the woman that he had tickets on reserve. After taking a bit of time to sort out his last name, she pulled out an envelope containing two tickets. He thanked the woman and turned to Agnieszka, "Now that’s service," he beamed, as he handed her her ticket.

"You’re crazy," she said, emphasizing the word crazy. She knew Charlie went to a lot of trouble to try and reserve the tickets and he was happy that it was all going so smoothly. She remembered when he called her from a pay phone at McDonald’s on his break to ask her if she wanted to go. She was really surprised then, because he wasn’t the kind of person to really think of something like that so spontaneously. But he went ahead and charged the tickets on his credit card, got the directions (which didn’t help much anyway), and now here they were. Agnieszka was happy.

As they took their seats on the left side of the balcony, Charlie turned to her and said, "This is pretty nice, huh?"

"Yeah, I’m really glad we came." And she was too. She never really saw too many plays and figured Chekhov’s "The Sea Gull" would be pretty good.

As she watched the play, she really enjoyed it. Most of the things she could understand pretty well, especially when they didn’t speak too quickly.

During the intermission they made their way out and passed some vendors who seemed to pop out of nowhere just outside the theater.

"They weren’t there when we came, right?" Charlie wondered.

"I don’t think so," she said.

They walked around the campus a bit, Charlie expressing how nice he thought it was and Agnieszka just enjoying walking with him on a warm night and in a pretty area. The bell tolled for the beginning of the second half and they made their way back, even though Agnieszka wished they could spend a little more time outside.

The play ended and she really enjoyed it, but as usual, didn’t clap. She just felt strange doing it. Charlie seemed to enjoy it too, as he was clapping loudly along with everyone else, something he usually didn’t do. He then grabbed her hands and tried to bang them together in a clapping motion, but she resisted. "Stop being silly," she squealed, even though she thought it was kind of cute.

They made their way down the stairs amidst the other stragglers and smiled at each other. Agnieszka always enjoyed when he smiled—he didn’t do it enough. She felt warm inside and this made her smile even brighter. Charlie seemed to pick up on this and squeezed her hand tighter.

They looked around a bit at the pictures and posters in the lobby, but she didn’t recognize any of the actors on them. Charlie did, and tried to explain to her where she might have seen them, but it just didn’t register. Even though she had been living in the United States for about three years, she was afraid that he might think her stupid for not knowing things like that.

"I guess you just have a dumb girlfriend," she said.

Charlie sighed slightly and reassured, "You know you’re not stupid, you’re very smart. I just thought that you might recognize some of them, that’s all."

"Yeah, I know, but I’m still stupid," she said, in sort of a singsong way.

"Stop." He kissed her on the cheek.

She knew how he felt about the subject, always bringing up all the languages she spoke and how good she was at math and science and all, but she liked to hear it from him anyway. She always told him that no one else would put up with her the way he did, but Charlie just shrugged it off and said he could say the same thing about her. He told her all she needed to do was believe in herself a little bit more, that she was just different, special, that’s all, and it’s good that she’s not a typical American girl—those relationships never worked out for him anyway. She really liked how he cared for her and the things he said, that’s why she wanted to tell him that she...but wait, not now. She couldn’t just yet, not like that.

The two left the theater and noticed that the vendors were gone, probably only showing up for the intermission and then heading home. The campus continued to impress them, even though there was little light, but it was too late to go for another walk. It was still warm, with just a slight breeze, so they took their time heading back to his car.

It was usually hit and miss with finding the car, but since the lot wasn’t really full, they didn’t have too much trouble. "There it is," she said.

"Yeah, I know," he said slowly.

As usual, Agnieszka spotted it first, but Charlie didn’t let on that he didn’t notice it until she told him. Agnieszka knew this, but he always said it jokingly, so she didn’t mind. He always told her that she had trouble telling the difference between when he was serious and when he was joking, but she knew--at least most of the time.

The car was one space away from a light, so when they reached the car, they had no trouble seeing each other. Charlie turned around and leaned against the passenger side door, as was their custom. This generally meant that they were going to kiss; she established this months ago. In ways like this, their relationship was still immature, but things were slowly evolving. Agnieszka wondered if he realized just how much. This was very important to her.

Instead of kissing though, they just stood there smiling at each other, particularly Charlie, who had sort of a blushing, expectant smile.

"What?" she said.

"Oh, nothing."

"I had a really nice time tonight."

"Me too."

"Charlie, I...Oh never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"Please tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You know what."

She knew what. And she knew that he knew what. It was just a matter of getting the words out.

"I know it’s hard, you remember how much trouble it was for me, but if you really mean it, just say it and get it out in the open."

"I’m trying...I...I can’t," she shook her head. "You know how I feel anyway."

"I do, but I’d really like to hear it. It would mean a lot to me. If you really can’t say it, then maybe you don’t feel it yet. I can wait longer if I have to. I’d understand."

She didn’t want him to have to wait. It was strange hearing him say it and her not being able to tell him back. He was waiting two months, Agnieszka thought, but she was usually scared, unsure of a lot of things, that probably being the biggest. She had already convinced herself last week and was as sure now as she’d ever be. The feeling was strong, but she was still having trouble. Why couldn’t she just say it, why not now?

Her mind swam with memories. Agnieszka remembered back, back before Charlie, back to Gregory. She still had some of Gregory’s pictures tucked away in an old photo album. Charlie couldn’t understand why. The only explanation she would give him was that that stuff was in the past and therefore a part of her life. While it wasn’t a nice part, it was nevertheless something that she wanted to keep—had to keep. There was another reason, one that she couldn’t tell Charlie about yet.

It wasn’t that she was particularly fond of that memory, but just what it meant to her. Gregory had told her early on in their eight months together how he felt about her. She wondered for many months if she felt the same about him, but could never decide. It turned out she was right in her indecision, because as time passed, she grew to hate him. She started to hate his kisses, the way he talked to her, and the way he treated her. The only problem was that she couldn’t break it off. They were always getting into fights and she found herself making up excuses just so she wouldn’t have to see or talk to him. She was afraid of what he would do to her if she told him it was over. Her parents started getting on her case about it - they never did like him - and she was finally able to get up enough courage to break it off, even if it was only over the phone. Agnieszka felt relieved it was over, but questioned her ability to ever have strong feelings to express. Maybe she wasn’t good enough. Maybe she would never truly be happy. Maybe...

Agnieszka looked down at the ground, lost in self doubt, not knowing what to do next. Charlie picked her chin up and told her. Instead of feeling like she was being forced into saying it back, she seemed to grow more confident. Yes, I know you do, she thought. He kissed her. Her mind raced. And I know I do too. I know. She kissed him. "Charlie, I..." The words came, not at first, not all at once, but they came. Agnieszka understood. She understood why he had trouble saying it before he actually told her. And she knew why she had had so much trouble up until now. She said it again. This was real, this was how it was supposed to be—not just words, but words with a true meaning, a meaning that was meant to last. A meaning that could be understood and conveyed only if you truly meant it. And most of all, a meaning that never had to questioned—or doubted.

With nothing left to say, they kissed.